I have been away a while, been on holiday catching some of that sun stuff that people keep telling me is good for you. Turns out its a lie, all that sun is good for you business, yep. Probably a ruse invented by Garnier as a reason for you to buy sun screen. For here I sit, typing with blistered fingers, catching a glimpse every so often of the reflection in my laptop screen of a very sun burnt man with a nose so red that even Rudolph would be ashamed to show it off. I live very close to an airport and now suffer an irrational fear of a pilot mistaking my reddish skin for a landing strip and trying to land in my back garden. I am very sun burnt with only the fading memories of lazy
walks afternoon naps on the beach to console me but, it will be summer here in the UK soon! Maybe, this year it might stay warm for more than a week? But I digress. The real reason I have been away for so long is because, well I have succumbed to a terrible and horrible thing and that thing is the dreaded Video Game Addiction.
Yes, I have even capitalised the words as it was horrible and real not just something I thought parents told their kids when they should be doing their homework instead of playing GTA V
Actually, maybe Addiction was too strong a word. I didn’t skip work, social responsibilities or chores any more than I normally do so maybe addiction is too strong, lets call it love or at the very least infatuation, Actually, lets go with infatuation, yes infatuation sounds like the right word.
Call of Duty WW2 only now can I say your name. Its been three weeks since we last played together danced together, killed together and as was more likely towards the end of our time died together and even now knowing what I know now. How you toyed with my feelings pulling me ever closer with a grip that was that of a vice, I can’t let you go. I know I can never turn you on again, your opening credits shall never been the opening to a night of delicious game after relentless game until the sun comes up and reality forces us apart. No how ever strong your pull is I can never return to you.
I was trapped
Lost in a never ending loop of just one more game, followed by a this is the last one I promise etc, etc. I couldn’t even stop once I stopped improving. Sure we can all kid ourselves that were not addicted, simply playing the game to get better at it, isn’t addictive no, can’t be, Its a learning experience, an education in the game, I would tell myself this time and time again and the excuse worked for a while. Then my levels stopped going up my K/D ratio started to plateau. I had got as good as I was ever going to get. Still I couldn’t stop I would pop in to say Hi! to show my face to a game that didn’t know me. Ignoring the objectives I would wonder around the levels, congratulating other players for killing my avatar in an exiting way. It really was the pits but It got so worse. I did something awful, I even fill ashamed to type it, here it comes, I even planned nights for my wife to go out, with out me. Just so we could spend some time together me and you COD. This is when I realised I needed to stop. To grab back some of my weekends and evenings for other things to see other people, to do other things to, perhaps even see other games.
I still can’t delete you from my hard drive.
Maybe one day