Today we talk about; Frozen Testicales and Giant…file sizes

Yes, If you hadn’t already guessed from the title today’s little piece is on Red Dead Redemption 2. Yes, the cowboy simulator that everybody will rush out to buy as soon as its released and then, never, ever finish it.

Just when I was warming up to the idea that somehow Red Dead Redemption 2 might the kind of thing I would like to play despite not enjoying the original all that much. Rockstar go and spoil it all by saying that not only can your trusty stead die but the horse’s death will be permanent – and to top it all his little hairy horse balls with freeze if you are out in the cold, frozen wilds for too long, how is this fair! How can this be right? How can something that the player will be forced to care for, to develop a bond with just die – and no, I am not talking about his balls here, It’s not making me feel uncomfortable I might have to boycott the game, just to avoid all the unnecessary tears over the death of a virtual horse. I don’t think I can take it. It could be too much. Plus with respect to the balls – how will they be unfrozen will it be natural. Will the player see a steady stream of water cascading from below the horse as it descends to warmer climes? Or will the player have to light a fire and gently, ever so gently massage the poor little horses most private parts until they come back to life again? Neither is a great picture. Poor horse. Is this virtual animal cruelty?

Anyway, with the lovely picture of a horses ball now fresh in your mind like some horrible sweaty pendulum let us move swiftly onto the second part of the title the file size. Which is massive 99 GB for the disc version and an incredible 149GB for the downloadable version – that’s 50GB extra room for installation. Plus we don’t even know how big the multiplayer component will be yet. Still, I am sure many of us will space for it on our hard drives and will be setting off into the sunset come October the 26th