I thought this was going to be easy!

I mean how hard can it be? Sick people come in to your hospital and you make them better. That’s it what else is there? Sound simple right. Well you’d be wrong. It is very hard, occasionally very stressful and a lot of the time very funny.

Two Point Hospital is the spiritual successor to the utterly brilliant ( and utterly bonkers) hospital management sim Theme Hospital created by the amazing Bullfrog Studios, A studio who also let us loose on Theme Park’s, Dungeon’s and the odd Magic Carpet. That studio may have bitten the dust but the reigns have been eagerly picked up by two former employees and they have felt that time was right to release a new sim into the world and in doing so have brought the Theme Hospital back to a modern era.

As you would expect the team who created the original Theme Hospital and now this new iteration know exactly what they are doing. For sim lovers this is a real gem of the genre. For lovers of the the original Theme Hospital this is like picking up where you just left off all those years ago. Its seems nothing has changed from the comedy virus names such as Light-headedness where your little patient’s head will turn into a light bulb or a catch a disease called 8-bit where your sick little buddy will (you guessed it) turn from a nice 2020 looking sprite into a classic 8-bit sprite and starting walking around the hospital looking like a character from an original Mario game

Sadly the game isn’t all silly giggles and easy cures as you are cast as the hospital administrator and with that lofty title comes a merry list of responsibilities and a list of targets for you to hit. It starts of easy enough with the opening goals being things like hire some cleaners or train some staff and get progressively tougher as the game goes on, with stars awarded for your performance as you progress through each hospital and their scenario. It’s not long before the whole map is open to you giving showing you how many stars you need to open the next hospital and what kind of place your new hospital is in. Sometimes the hospital in a really cold zone where you will be charged with not only trying to solve the problems your patients bring to you in the form of their illnesses but, also the change of keeping them alive in a freezing town, making that there is enough heating and that each heater is maintained and functioning and of course if you would rather spend your time in warmer climes the game has you covered there too for some of the hospitals are resort hospitals and in those sunny locations you will have to deal with not only your patients persistent ailments but, also the unrelenting heat. For now you have to make sure that the heat is kept at bay. It’s time to make sure that air-condition is working and is in tip-top condition

Of course with the player only being an over viewer and not able to directly get involved with fixing anything or diagnosing any diseases you have to reply on your staff and also the layout of your hospital with each hospital laid out like a grid in front of you, the player chooses where each department lies from reception, doctor’s surgery and toilets (don’t forget the toilets) its up to you to make sure that people can get to where they need to be when they need to be there. It goes for the patients to your staff as well

Staff you say. Yes staff. You are in complete control of your hospital. The player chooses which buildings to buy, which diseases to treat and most importantly which staff to hire. For a hospital to run like clockwork you have to have your staff running like a Swiss watch and so you have to make sure that your institution only hires the best ( of what you can afford, Stupid budgets) each distinction of staff member from janitor to physiatrist has unique characteristics some are lazy, some happy work all through the day and some are brilliant but, just end up wandering around the hospital all day. So it’s up to you to keep an eye on your staff as well as the patients in the hospital and this is where its gets stressful couple trying to get your staff where they need to be… why is someone always throwing up in a corrider, when there aren’t any janitors around! to a nurse wandering of in the middle of a diagnostic you have to keep checking that everybody is working to the same goal. Sure sometimes people miss the odd lunch but, you can make up for that with a little bump in pay and an extra bean bag in the staff room…right?

Now all I have to do is learn how not to run out of money. That’s a bugger