I beat the Phalanx Demon, can I go home now?

Dear reader,

I just did something I didn’t think I would ever do. Something so out of character that if me from the future had popped in for a cuppa and told me what I did – I wouldn’t believe it. Let me tell you what I did and still, even as I type these words can’t quite believe


I know, crazy right? It’s not something I ever thought I would do. I am just not a Soulsbourne kind of guy. If I’m honest, I am not even sure why I bought the game. But there it was staring at me from under the TV, silently mocking me. Telling me I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t play with the ”Big boys”

Until one day. The games, silent, relentless, completely imagined torment became too much and I said to myself ” I am going to do it, ”I am going to complete this game”

So I started my quest.

I moved very, very slowly. Even though I play the game as the royal class. A class that can shoot magic projectiles from it’s arms and one-shot kill most of the basic enemies, I was afraid. I had read about the game, I knew what to expect. I expected to be killed over and over again and then again. But I wasn’t dying, I wasn’t even in danger.

I put this down to two things. Neither of which have anything to do with my ability to play the game

The first is the notes that other players have left for you. Now I know what you’re thinking ” Soulsbourne” players being helpful” and yes I too was worried about following other players advice, I expected to simply follow the advice and die. Nothing more but, I was stuck I didn’t know what to, there seemed to enemies around every corner and I couldn’t seem to move forward so I took a chance, started to read their advice and wow, it’s really helpful. The game started to change for me. Notes like two enemies round the next corner, really helped my game. I could start taking chances, take more risks and really started to enjoy the game – well as much as you can enjoy a Soulsbourne title

The second was watching how previous players had died. Now bear with me, it’s not quite as morbid as it sounds. You see by selecting to view a blood stain on the ground you can see how a previous player has met their grisly end and these windows into another players world are really handy by seeing how another player has died you can try and avoid the same fait, either by not walking on that dodgy floor board, avoiding that falling boulder or just stay alive by not running into a group of enemies with your sword swinging as some people have a tendency to do. Its a great view and a great way to plan your attack

As I somehow made my way through the level I stumbled across the Phalanx Demon the areas big boss. I began my attack. Well it was more like it was attacking me for all I could do was roll, roll for my life. There was nothing else I could do wave after wave of the demons small shielded entities attached me. Basically small, aggressive blobs carrying shields and I couldn’t, for all the magic I throw at them, make a dent in their numbers.

Fire. Then I remembered a note I had read earlier in the game. It simply said ”FIRE” I frantically pulled up my inventory, searching for any kind of flammable objects, I came across the firebombs and hastily equipped them. Then started to throw them, panicking my first few missed the main bulk of the enemy but, luckily hit a bunch on the outside and as I wildly threw a few more bombs I realised that the ones I had killed hadn’t been replaced and now for a few seconds at least there was a chance, a small chance to get straight to the boss. I took my chance I ran towards the boss, wildly throwing bombs as I went, I hit home the Phalanx’s enormous health bar now only half full. I got cocky, I attacked and now took a hit my precious health bar slipped lower, I panicked throwing bombs for all I was worth. I took another hit and expected to die but, somehow I didn’t I looked up to the screen to see the Demon dissolve into nothing

Then the Adrenaline kicked in. I jumped from my sofa shouting for all I was worth. I had done it.

I had beaten a Demon Souls boss

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