Never have I ever: played a Resident Evil game

Hanging my head

I know! Call myself a gamer, I should be ashamed, and I do, I am ashamed to even type these words. Even now I sit in fear, half expecting, that any minute someone could burst through the door, yank the controller from my hands and scream in my face YOUR NO GAMER. I might not even blame them.

How Has it come this far?

Good question, with a simple answer. Its not for a lack of trying. I have wanted to play a Resident Evil game from the beginning but sometimes it’s not as easy as that. So let’s start at the beginning I grew up in the 90’s my parents were hesitant about buying the latest and greatest Zombie game Resident Evil, the game that was so scary it was even called Bio Hazard in Japan. Still I had hopes we could turn them around, that was until, they had seen it featured on the news! I know, my chances were over. All my parents could see where their trusted news reporters telling them NO it was a bad game, a scary game – they feared the news. They didn’t want their boy hooked on Zombies, too scared to sleep or even worse hooked on video games and to tell you the truth they were probably right. I wouldn’t have slept for a week, and probably been hooked on games as well!

Still creepy

So along came

Resident Evil 2

This time I was ready, I had my own money, I saved and I saved and I saved until one day I was finally ready. Ready to buy Resident Evil 2. I had read all the articles, listened to all they hype. Zombie killing here we come. Only one problem – I didn’t have a PlayStation to play it on or any other console for that matter. I don’t know why, didn’t know then, I still don’t now. My parents although not geeky or particularly into technology always liked to have their children were they could see them and they decided a good way to do that was to always have one of the latest ”Video game things” around the house. Although for some reason this time we didn’t. I don’t know why, maybe we lost it, broke it or my parents had got bored with us playing with it but, for whatever reason, I wouldn’t be able to play the game I wanted to play. Didn’t stop me buying it though (childish idiot). I worked out a fail proof plan. A plan that couldn’t fail. I would find a friend that had a console and we could play it ”together”. Of course this didn’t work, of course it didn’t. My friend having just discovered the fairer sex would always be busy, always with his girlfriend. I got desperate, letting him borrow the game, assuming that it would mark my territory. He would see it and think of me, call me up and we would play. Didn’t work. Didn’t see that game again.

Still brilliant box art though.

Resident Evil 3

Was there a Resident Evil 3? Did this completely pass me by? I don’t think I have even seen it in shop. Is it real?

Oh yes, This one. I remember talking about it like I had played it now.

Resident Evil 4

All this brings us to Resident Evil 4. The big one. The one that if you ask people who played it, will simply smile, sit back and think of happier times. A time when they got to play an escort mission with the most infuriating person in history. Yes a game that is so good that even when the designers tried to make it rubbish they couldn’t. Didn’t stop me from not playing it though. Still haven’t played it. Despite it now being released on almost as many devices as Skyrim – I just haven’t got round to it. I even owned a Gamecube. Resident Evil 4 was an exclusive on the Gamecube and worse yet it was one of about the five games that were apparently must haves for the Gamecube. Somehow I still managed to miss it .What’s wrong with me?

See Gamecube. I miss that cube.

Resident Evil 5 &6

I am lumping these two together as they were just so badly reviewed at launch. Both ”tried something different for the series” which doesn’t generally do anyone any favours. So I left them alone. Actually, I think I may have almost played 5 co-op with a friend but, it was a long time ago and we were trying to play online, which crashed as soon as we loaded it up.

Did you know you could get them on the Switch?

A trilogy.

Resident Evil 7

As I am telling you too much about me, my gaming friends, I might as well carry on and admit – I am just too scared to play this game. I want to play it. I want to play it in VR but, I am just too much of a chicken. Maybe one day maybe.

I do like the way the 7 is in the name though.

So there we have it, my gaming guilt is now open to the World. Do I feel better for sharing? I don’t think so but, still maybe one day, I can play all the games I haven’t played. Free for the world to see.

Have you any gaming secrets hidden deep in the darkest recesses of your gaming mind?

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